Orgy of Doom
by child of a fallen god
Summary: "The Major is expecting company." That one sentence would change my life, and afterlife, forever. Somehow, some way, Major Jasper Whitlock, Lt. Col. Peter Whitlock, Charlotte, Alice, and Bella are the only beings standing between Vampires and Destruction.
1. Prologue

All characters are copyrighted to Stephenie Meyer.

_There's a rose in the fisted glove,  
>And the eagle flies with the dove,<br>If you can't be with the one love, honey,  
>Love the one you're with. <em>– Crosby, Stills, and Nash "Love the one You're With"

**Orgy of Doom**

_**Prologue**_

Major Jasper Whitlock. His name sends a small shiver down my spine every time I think it. It also makes my lower belly muscles clench, but that's not really the point. Major Jasper Whitlock, even as I sit in his brother's lap I only have eyes for him.

And his wife, beautiful little pixie bitch she is. Alice Cullen. My best friend, quite possibly my only friend. She started this…infatuation. She started it all with one sentence. _"The Major is expecting company."_

That one sentence is seemingly harmless, right? If I had known what to expect from just that one sentence, I might have never come to the Cullen household again. I loved Edward. The problem with that is the tense. Loved. As in once upon a time. He was my personal Prince Charming, complete with crooked smile and honey hued eyes. He rode straight off the pages of my aging childhood storybook, and into my life. He saved me from myself. The only problem with that was before Edward Cullen came along, I didn't need to be saved.

And then Jasper's personal Tinkerbelle waved her little psychic wand and ruined my life with one well-placed vision.

And so I stared across the living room at Peter and Charlotte Whitlock, a vacant smile on my face. The Major had been expecting company. What he wouldn't expect would be the events that would occur later in the year. The one where I'm fifth wheel in the Orgy of Doom. That one. Yeah.


	2. Chapter One

Disclaimer: All characters © Stephenie Meyer.

_The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his._  
><strong>-George Patton—<strong>

**Orgy of Doom**

_**Chapter One**_

"Bella…I need to speak with you…privately." Alice Cullen lacked her peculiar enthusiasm on the bright Tuesday morning that she tore my world apart. But we're coming to that. Her voice was hollow, and Edward turned to face her. He blinked once, cocked his head to the side, and made a face of disgust.

"That's what you get for prying into my head." Her voice was cold, distant. "Bella, please."

I sighed, shoving the novel I was reading to the side and slid off the huge bed that Edward had so _thoughtfully_ picked out. "Alice, if this has anything more to do with operation Wedding, I'm really not in the mood." My back ached, my head hurt, and my ovaries were trying to leap out the front of my body. I hated my period. It wasn't a fan favorite of the Cullens either. Apparently it smelled, and not in a pleasant let-me-snack-on-you kind of way. Emmett described it once as weeks old roadkill. He'd rather eat food, perish the thought!

"Mmm, PMS, makes me glad I can't remember it." She smirked at my unladylike waddle. Damned boyfriend decided to ply me with sanitary napkins. A good ol' box of tampons could steal my virginity from him.

I rolled my eyes. "Nope, just MS, I got the pre out of the way a few days ago, stuffing my face with chocolate and crying into my pillow at night." I hobbled out of the room, crippled by cramping ovaries and the adult diaper between my legs. I considered mutiny, but the look on Alice's face made me shove that idea to the side. "What's up?"

"Hop on." She turned her back to me, and I sighed. "A simple walk can't suffice?"

"Not for what I want to talk to you about."

"Fine." I grumbled, pressing myself close to her, wrapping my arms around her neck. "This is hard." I complained, her diminutive size making it difficult for me to try and wrap my legs around her midsection.

"Just do it already." She laughed, leaning back into me and grabbing my legs. With a hop, I managed to mostly seat myself in her grasp. "I'll have her back soon, Edward." I squeezed my eyes shut as the world blurred around me.

XxXxXx

"What is it Alice?" I was stretched out on the cool, damp grass beside her, a few miles into the forest around the Cullen estate. "What's so important that you have to drag me out into the middle of nowhere?"

"Have you ever wished you could see the future, in all it's shading and fine detail?"

I shook my head. I'd never want to be psychic, or have visions. I can barely take care of me. I couldn't handle the stress of worrying about every little snippet of things not yet happening.

"What I am going to say can go no farther." She propped herself up on her elbow and stared down at me. "You can't let anyone know that you know anything. I have no one else to tell and you're my best friend…" Her voice trailed off and she mumbled something too fast for me to hear.

"Huh?"

"Sorry, I said the Major is expecting company."

"Who?"

"The Major. Major Jasper Whitlock."

"Um…you mean Jasper? You're inviting friends? That's you're big secret?" I felt disappointed. She had been so secretive.

"No, not exactly. Jazz isn't expecting company, the Major is."

"Um…"

"Exactly."

"I'm confused." I huffed, looking up at her. "Jasper is Major Jasper Whitlock."

"Not entirely. Jazz, as you know him, is a rather watered down version of the Major. I've told you some of the stories he's told me about the Southern Vampire Wars. Bloodlust, carnage, and duty is all the Major knew for decades. He lived, ate, commanded, tortured, and endured torture all at the hands of his maker, Maria. Her capricious whims and demands killed Jasper the man, and created the Major."

I nodded, not entirely sure where this was headed.

"When I met Jazz, he was broken. I wasn't entirely sure I could fix him, and I haven't. But his past is coming back to haunt him, and very soon." She hissed, turning her eyes away from mine so I wouldn't see them shift to onyx. "Lt. Colonel Peter Whitlock and his wife Charlotte are going to be arriving at the house soon." She turned her eyes back to me. "And our lives are going to change irrevocably." She collapsed on top of me, sobbing dryly. I wrapped my arms around her, rubbing her back.

"They don't have to come."

"Yes they do!" She wailed.

"Leave…" I stopped, her eyes capturing mine, and the rest of my sentence stuck in my throat. She kept her gaze locked with mine, lowering her head. I exhaled in a rush as her lips met mine. I couldn't respond. I was shocked, appalled, and I felt my breathing hitch. Her kiss was soft, incredibly soft for all the stone that her body was made of. She licked across the seam of my lips, eliciting a sigh from me. She pulled back then, searching my eyes.

"I'm not crying because Peter and Char are coming." She whispered. "I'm crying because I wasted all this time on a wedding that isn't going to happen."


End file.
